The kids are grown, now what?: Jump in and Join Me! NaBloPoMo Day 8

Saturday, June 9, 2012

Jump in and Join Me! NaBloPoMo Day 8


It's day 8 of NaBloPoMo (ok, I missed a few days) and today's writing prompt is; "How do you feel about new people jumping into your life?".

I had difficulties leaving the house after my first child was born. I had always been shy and had issues with new places, new situations and new people but it got worse after Michelle was born. Hello Agoraphobia! I could not bring myself to leave the house on my own. That's not entirely true. I was able to go out into the yard. Walk along the sidewalk in front of the house. I could even go next door to visit my neighbors. I could not go to the store. I could not meet friends for lunch. I could only leave the house if there was someone with me. My husband would take me shopping. My friends would come to visit me. There were no new people jumping into my life in those days. My life revolved around my child, my books, my soaps and sometimes my husband.

A few month's before my daughters 2nd birthday she had a freak accident and fractured her femur. Suddenly I was thrust into the role of Mother Lion and I played it well. Inside I was quaking but outside I was steel. If I didn't advocate for my child while she was hospitalized, who would? It was just acting. I discovered that I could be someone else when I needed to. This saved my life. Who knew that my daughter's fractured femur would save my life! This was the impetus I needed to take my life back.

Michelle was born just a few months before my 17th birthday. I did not finish high school. Once Michelle was home from the hospital I did a little assessment of my life and found it lacking! It was time to get my GED. This time I played the role of a fun loving, wise cracking, smart person and it worked! Went to my GED classes a few nights a week and someone new jumped into my life. Pam and I had so much in common. We were the same age. Our daughters were the same age. It was so nice to have a new friend.

My life changed drastically after I passed the GED. I left my husband. I got my own apartment. I started working. I had tons of new people jumping into my life. Then I remarried and had 2 more children.

Now my all of my children are grown. I have become too sick to work. I don't leave the house much these days. But this is because I am physically uncomfortable, not because I am afraid. I still have new people jumping into my life but now it's people that I have met on the computer!  I don't think there is a cure for agoraphobia. I think you have to learn how to work around it. I still have days where I am overwhelmed by the thought of going somewhere new or starting something new and that's ok. I know that I will work my way around it and go on with my life.

Who is jumping into your life?


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